I was incredibly bored today at work, and I’m not sure why but I started wondering, “How old are the guys in Dethklok?” And I really wanted to try to come up with my own answers, instead of reading what other people’s theories are. And yeah I know they’re just cartoon dudes, but c’mon…gotta do something to cure my boredom.

SKWISGAAR SKWIGELF
In season 1 when Dethklok’s families come to visit, it is clearly stated that Serveta Skwigelf (sp?), Skwisgaar’s Mom, was Miss Sweden 1956. That right there gives a clue as to how old Serveta is. I did some quick Google searching and for the “Miss…” whatever pageants in the US contestants need to be at least 18/19, but in Europe contestants could be as young as 17. If Serveta was 17 in 1956 when she won Miss Sweden that would put her birth year at 1939, making her 70 years old. I would have to assume that she had Skwisgaar no later than the age of 38, so having said that I would guess that Skwisgaar would be no younger than 32 (born 1977). Judging by his appearance (even though he is just a cartoon dude) I would put him at no older than 36 (born 1973). I conclude then that Skwisgaar Skwigelf would have been born between 1973 and 1977, meaning as of today’s date he is between 32 and 36 years old. I would have to guess he is probably 34 and I back up this answer by looking at today’s Scandinavian rockers such as Alexi Laiho age 30 (Children of Bodom), Shagrath age 33 (Dimmu Borgir), Silenoz age 32 (also from Dimmu Borgir) – I guess my point here is that these dudes look great for their ages. Even getting away from the Scandinavian rockers we can look at guitarists such as Dave Mustaine, of Megadeth, who is currently 48 but still looks amazing for his age. Also take a look at John Petrucci, of Dream Theater, he is 42 and looks better than he did when he was younger. I have a suspicion that being metal makes you keep your youthful appearance, that’s just me though.

PICKLES
Now let’s talk about Pickles, our Devin Townsend/Axl Rose/Guns ‘n’ Roses guy; starting with his glam rock background. It’s quite obvious that Snakes ‘N Barrels is a parody of Guns ‘N Roses, I believe that may have been noted in an interview somewhere but I can’t remember. Anyway, GnR has been active since 1985 and when the band first started Axl Rose, the lead singer, was 23. However in Metalocalypse it was said that Pickles looked “no more than 16” when he got to LA, joined SnB, and got signed to a major label. Let’s just say for the sake of an example that SnB was formed and signed in 1985, just like GnR, but instead of being 23 like Axl let’s make Pickles 16 like the show suggests. If Pickles was 16 in 1985 that would put his birth year at 1969, which would make him 40 years old currently. I think this is a pretty fair estimate considering that both men that he resembles in real life are between 37 and 47. Don’t let the premature balding fool you! Devin Townsend is only 37 but is balding like crazy; it totally doesn’t make him any less awesome though.

TOKI WARTOOTH
I am pretty confident that Toki is the youngest member of Dethklok. I’ve noticed that once your parents get to a certain age they just don’t seem to really age anymore, you know what I mean? Kind of like Toki’s parents – in the flash backs in the show they look pretty much exactly the same as they did when they were visiting Mordhaus with the rest of Dethklok’s families. This leads me to believe that Toki was probably an accident or certainly wasn’t planned, judging by his parents ages and appearances. I don’t really have any definitely dates to work with in reference to Toki’s age or his parents’ ages, but I would have to guess that Toki is probably around 24 years old.

MURDERFACE
There are a couple of hints in the show that could help us come to a conclusion on what Murderface’s age might be. The most obvious, in my opinion, would be in season 1 when Murderface is having a ‘rock talk’ session with the band’s therapist Dr. John Twinkletits. There is a flashback sequence of Murderface as a tiny baby, in an old school high chair and some really brutal wallpaper. Just by judging the wallpaper alone I would guess that would be something common in homes between 1975 and 1980, or something along those lines. Although I think the moustache ages Murderface quite a bit I have a feeling that he just may be around 29 (born 1980).

NATHAN EXPLOSION
Ever since episode 1 of season 3 I was really confused as to how old I think Nathan is. I then realized that Dethklok are a bunch of “sheltered, rich assholes” – (courtesy of Nathan himself, s3 ep.2), so they have the best of everything and as much of anything as they want. Nathan is a heavy drinker and abusing alcohol like does totally affects the body in a negative way, so I think that the years of abuse on his body has aged him prematurely. Besides, I don’t even think he looks THAT old in the show anyway. In the episode where Nathan becomes governor of Florida, the opening sequence is with him in Grade 2; this is a pretty good starting point for the guess-timating. To be in grade 2 I am pretty sure you need to be 7 years old, and judging by the appearance of the classroom, teacher and students I would guess that it was probably around 1988. So you minus 7 from1988 and you get 1981, which would be the year of Nathan’s birth making him 28 years old currently.

Yeah I know I'm the biggest dork ever, and I don't give a rats ass XD !!